Releasing Grief

Releasing Grief

“Come to me, all you who are struggling hard and carrying heavy loads, and I will give you rest. Put on my yoke, and learn from me. I’m gentle and humble. And you will find rest for yourselves. My yoke is easy to bear, and my burden is light.” (Matt 11:28-30 CEB)

This past weekend, I attended the memorial service of a peer, Ryan Pennington. I grew up with him in youth group at my home church in Yakima. While we attended different high schools, after graduation he and I both attended Washington State University. Our paths crossed many times through the years. We both eventually were called to serve as pastors in the Church of the Nazarene.

The service was a bittersweet experience of connecting with many dear old friends from those youth group days. It truly was a celebration of a life well lived. But it was a life which, because of cancer, ended too soon. He leaves behind his wife Tanisia, another friend from youth group days, and their two young adult children, Mikaela and Riley.

Each of us comes to this day with griefs to bear. I know many of your stories. Stories of loved ones lost. Stories of broken relationships. Stories of health scares and battles.

If we aren’t intentional about working through grief, it can begin to weigh us down. Too often, I meet patients in my chaplain work for whom, among other causes, unprocessed grief has led to behaviors they use to try to cover or mask their grief. For some, this has led to using drugs or alcohol as a means of masking their pain of grief.

It may seem weird to say, but grief is normal. It is normal to feel pain when we lose those we love. It is normal for it to hurt when our life situation gets turned upside down. It is normal for waves of grief to ebb and flow in our lives. Grief takes time, there is no way to speed it up, and each person has their own grief process. It has been said, “the only cure for grief, is to grieve.”

Yet, while it may be normal to feel this way, at times we must be intentional to work on releasing our pain and grief. Often the starting place for releasing pain is being honest with others, and honest with God, about how we feel. Taking these feelings to God in prayer can help us release them.

The book of Psalms contains a powerful collection of songs and poems which can give words to our pain and frustrations, often these psalms are labeled as lament psalms. I invite you to experiment praying through various lament psalms.

Individual psalms of lament: 6, 10, 13, 22, 25, 31, 38, 44, 55, 71, 86
Corporate psalms of lament: 44, 60, 74, 79, 80, 85, 90

In today’s focal verses, Jesus invites his followers to learn from him and receive his offer of rest and release from our burdens. His own gentleness and humility serve as our example. Additionally, Psalm 62:8 advises, “Pour out your heart to him, for God is our refuge” (NLT).

Will you pray with me?

Lord, reveal to each of us the ways we can release our burdens of grief.

We give you thanks that you are willing and able to receive these burdens.

Help us to learn from you, to learn from your gentleness and humility.

We release our griefs.

We release our laments and frustrations.

We release our old wounds and conflicts.

We release our worries and stress.

We release our unrealized expectations.

Flood our hearts with your presence.

Fill our minds with your wisdom.

All this we pray in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, Amen.

 

Blessings,

Pastor Shawn

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