Nostalgia

Nostalgia

“Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize of God’s heavenly calling in Christ Jesus” (Phil 3:13-14)

The past two months have been filled with nostalgia.  In early August my son and I flew to San Diego to watch a couple of baseball games.  While we were there, I showed my son around my old high school haunts, and we talked about my good old days.  Next, Kathy and I headed to Fallon, Nevada for her 50th year high school reunion.  Kathy quickly reconnected with her friends from 50 years ago.  She noted that the town had changed a lot in the past 50 years.  A couple of weeks later we were celebrating our 40th wedding anniversary.  We remembered all the details of that incredible day and the family we created following that special day.  We had kolaches for breakfast (if you are from Texas, you know what I’m talking about).  We reminisced about the 10 years we spent in Texas raising our three children and the Texas culture that changed us.

Sometimes nostalgia can bring joy to our hearts; sometimes it brings sadness.  The weekend of our anniversary we watched the movie “Reagan” which transported us back to a simpler time – at least in our minds.  Crying could be heard throughout the theater.  When the light came up, I realized that we were a couple of the youngest people there.  Recently, a friend of ours sent us a number of videos from the church in Germany where we served in 1988-1991.  I found tears filling my eyes watching an Easter musical as I reflected on the incredible church experience we had 5000 miles away from home.

Some things are meant to be remembered, others are not.  I find great joy in remembering my salvation and baptism.  I remember the feeling of experiencing grace and forgiveness for the first time.  I remember the birth of our children and my ordinations.  So many sweet memories that fortify my faith.  There are other things that are best left in the past.  Our sins are one of those things.  I believe that is what Paul is speaking of in this verse from Philippians.  Paul had a number of regrets from his life before Christ.  He had persecuted Christians and was a conspirator to their murders.  He had been an arrogant Pharisee who studied under one of the most respected rabbis of his day.  When troubled with regrets, he likely reminded himself of what he had written to the Galatians: “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”

My guess is that as he sat in his place as a prisoner of Rome, he might well have also thought of his one-time privileged position in Judaism.  Those days did not involve beatings, stoning, being thrown overboard while at sea.  It is easy to look back at the “good old days.”  Often though, we find that they may not have been as good as we make them out to be.  High school had some good times, but the awkwardness of moving through adolescence was ever-present.  The Reagan years were good years, but they were also years when I lost several friends to aircraft mishaps, and I had the heavy burden of sitting alert prepared to fly a mission that would take the lives of hundreds of thousands of innocent people at the wrong place at the wrong time.  Texas was incredible, but it was also the place where we struggled to raise our mentally ill child.  The truth is our memory of the past is sometimes inaccurate and rarely complete.

In the church we can also find ourselves clinging to the past.  I still miss Sunday evenings and Wednesday worship services.  I miss performing in some incredible choirs and singing songs that God used to transform me.  As Kathy said at her reunion, “The place sure looks different after 50 years.”  If we allow ourselves to get stuck in the past, we can’t move forward.  I think that was Paul’s point in this verse.  The good old days will always be there and, likewise, we cannot change the things we might like to in our history. Fortunately, God has the ability to forget our failures when we cannot.  So, what do we do?  We recognize that God has called us to a task.  Rather than living in the past, we need to press on to complete that task.  I love the image Paul uses to describe this as he exhorts us to “strain” to get it done.  I will continue to sit on the porch with Kathy and bask in our shared memories, but I will also charge toward the goal to win the prize of God’s heavenly calling in Christ Jesus.

Blessings,

Pastor Doug

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