1 Lord, hear my prayer; let my cry for help come before You. 2 Do not hide Your face from me in my day of trouble. Listen closely to me; answer me quickly when I call.
Psalm 102:1-2
There have been times in my life that I’ve needed to hear from God. Times that I needed to know I was doing the right thing. Times I needed confirmation from God.
I am not alone. Throughout scripture, especially in the Psalms, we read of people crying out to God in distress, crying out in need of affirmation, crying out in their physical and emotional pain, crying out to God and desiring an answer.
After our first trip to Honduras in 2008, I had one such event. We had planned to go and start the foundation for a church that would surround a basketball court. The court was to draw the people in so they could hear about God’s love and grace. At that time, our church was involved in Upward Basketball and Cheerleading. Hundreds of kids, parents, siblings, friends and family would gather at SFNaz throughout the week culminating in the fanfare of Saturday’s games. We knew God had prepared this mission and it’s timing for us. Little did we know, God had different plans.
We arrived to torrential rain; water so deep that the field where we were to start digging holes for footings was covered in standing water. We quickly pivoted and ended up working at a school supported by the Nazarene church. The people in this community had been displaced from the city dump by the local government because that land was “too valuable”. We spent multiple days sharing with and ministering to this community. A community of people with nothing by American standards, but a people of great unity, great faith and great respect. Despite their living conditions, they put on their very best for God. The boys arrived to church with pressed white dress shirts and the girls in ornate Sunday dresses.
I remember one afternoon soon after returning from this mission trip, pulling in to work and breaking down sobbing. I mean the real ugly sobbing. “Why God? Why? Why have You given me so much and them so little? Why was my faith so weak, yet their faith so strong?”
God answered my lament. He proved to me that I was right where He wanted me. He was preparing me for things I did not yet know. Most importantly, God answered me.
This year at District Assembly, I had another such event. During the opening music set on Thursday, God tapped me on the shoulder and told me to go to the altar.
“Why God? I have nothing on my heart. There’s no reason for me to go to the altar.”
God repeated His desire for me to go to the altar and again, I asked why.
God understands me even better than I understand myself. On His third request, God said “I want you to go to the altar because if you go, maybe others that are hesitant in going will also go.” In my mind, that made total sense, so I went to the altar.
I have no idea if others came to the altar that morning because as soon as my knees touched the floor, I was overwhelmed by the Spirit and began ugly sobbing. God was asking me to follow Him in faith. Not in my knowledge. Not in what makes sense to me. Not in my own power and understanding. He asked me to follow Him in faith. It was a powerful moment for me and has marked a change in my life – my answer was “Yes, I want my answer to be Yes, even before You ask. Whatever You ask of me, even if I don’t understand, my answer is yes.”
Sometimes, like the psalmist, we bring our petitions to God in lament. Sometimes, we just need to be willing to follow what may seem like an insignificant ask from God. Both can lead to significant encounters with God, encounters that overwhelmed me to the point of absolute vulnerability and answers from God.
He is my Lord; I am His servant.
Pastor Victor
Prayer – Lord God, for those who have cried out or who may be hesitant to share their lament, I pray You would bring them to their knees in search of You. That they would come to a place of vulnerability before and reliance on You. I pray You would listen to the cries of Your children, then answer them in a clear way. For those whom You are asking to submit everything to You, I’II reiterate the words that were prayed over me recently, ‘Lord, totally confuse me. Jumble up my life and wrestle with me. Wrestle with me until I have a clear definition of what You are asking of me.’ We praise You and know You hear our prayers. We have faith that You will answer in Your timing and in Your way, because Your way is the best. Lord God, today I ask…
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