When You Can’t Fix It All

As the world keeps moving around us and we go from one tragedy in our world to the next, it can seem to be overwhelming.  This stress and sense of being overwhelmed can get so bad that we not only have spiritual aches, but it can affect us physically as well.  When I was a child and I would hear an older person saying “they died of a broken heart”, my mind could simply not understand the words. I never felt like I could ask what that meant because when someone would say it in front of me they seemed so sad that I didn’t want it to happen to them too.  Now as an adult I understand the meaning of being so devastated that your heart doesn’t want to continue and your mind can quickly deteriorate.

I have to confess that there have been times during this “social-distancing” where my heart felt broken. It wasn’t because I couldn’t be social, but it was because of the mourning of what was happening around me and in this world, to which I thought I could do nothing to help.  You see I am a “fixer”. I like to think that I can fix things even when I know nothing about what the thing is that needs fixing.  Over the years I have fixed the AC motor in our minivan, replaced our doorbell, repaired things on my own even if it meant it may need to be repaired again later… all because I decided I could learn to fix it.  During this season I realized there was so much I couldn’t fix that my heart began to be broken. There has been death, injury, sickness, violence, and injustice during this time I couldn’t begin to think about fixing.  As a result, I just let it weigh on my heart day after day.  Many times I could feel the weight so deeply there was a sense of physical pain.

Each morning we do family devotions in our home, but I have personal devotions as well.  This week my devotional talked about dreaming again and how God has created us to dream in order for his plans to be fulfilled. I realized that allowing God to reopen my dreams and imagination for HIS work is where HE can begin to work again. I realized that while I was focusing on all the things I couldn’t fix and my heart was breaking, I wasn’t allowing God to take control of the “fixing.” So this week will you allow God to take control of the fixing and lay that burden at his feet? That seems like such a simple thing to do, but oh how difficult it can be!

“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” James 1:5

Blessings,

Pastor Hope Terhaar